Nawalan ako ng pera ngayon. Baon ko sana nang isang linggo. Martes pa lamang ngunit lagas na agad ang dalawang Ninoy na pananatilihin ko sanang nakapangalumbaba hanggang Linggo. Sayang! May mga bagong pera pa naman akong nakalagay doon sa pitakang regalo pa sa akin ni Ninang Mercy noong nakaraang pasko. Dalawang benteng madulas at iba ang pagkadilaw kung ikukumpara sa benteng sinukli sa akin nung makalawa sa palengke."Sana nandito si Nanay. "
Saan kaya napunta ang kaban ng aking kayamanan?
Ilang araw akong maglalakad papunta sa unibersidad na aking pinapasukan, hindi manananghalian at uuwi sa kwartong aking inuupahan sa isang maliit na dormitoryo ng hindi man lang nabubusog ang aking mga mata. Nasanay akong naglilibot muna sa bayan kahit sandali bago umuwi sa dormitoryo upang aliwin naman ang aking sarili sa lungkot na dulot ng pag-iisa sa matatawag kong bahay.
Isang maliit na silid lamang ang aking naupahan. Pwedeng pwede na rin dahil malapit sa unibersidad na pinapasukan ko, ayos lang kahit tanghaliin ako ng gising dahil isang dyip na lang ang layo ko mula sa gate ng paaralang pinapasukan ko. Sakto lang din naman ang laki para magkasya ang lahat ng aking mga kagamitan. Komportable naman akong nakakatulog dahil malamig naman ang silid kahit hindi ko na buksan ang bentilador sa gabi. At higit sa lahat, malinis ang loob ng silid bago ko pa man ito mapagdesisyunang upahan, halatang arawang nalilinis ang mga kwarto. May banyo na rin sa loob ng silid kaya’t di ko na kailangan makipagsiksikan sa ibang mga nangungupahan sa dormitoryo tuwing umaga doon sa pampublikong paliguan.
Puti lang ang pintura ng aking silid mula kisame hanggang sa mga dingding, kaya naman pagtapak pa lamang ng mga paa ko sa kwarto at matapos ayusin ang aking mga gamit ay pinagdididikitan ko ng mga larawan at mga pahina ng lumang magasin upang mabigyan naman ng buhay ang malalangit kong kwarto. Ngunit ngayo’y napilas ko ang lahat ng nakadikit sa dingding sa tabi ng aking kama dala na lamang ng pagkamuhi sa araw na ito. Humiga ako’t huminga ng malalim. Nilamukot sa aking kamao ang mga papel na tinanggal galing sa pader ng aking silid. Ipinikit ang aking mga mata at ang mga sumunod na pangyayari’y hindi ko nanamalayan.
Pumasok akong butas ang bulsa.
Buti na lamang at maaga akong nagising. Wala nang laman ang aking maliit na kusina. Wala na akong iluluto kaya nagtimpla na lamang ako ng mainit na kape at kumaripas na sa banyo. Nagbihis ng mabilisan at hinablot ang bag sabay sara ng pinto. Naglakad ako papasok ng eskwelahan at pumasok sa gate ng pawis na pawis ng harangin ako ng guwardiya, “Pst, aano ka dito bata?” Nakapamulsang pambungad sa akin ng lalaking nakakunot ang noo.
WALA AKONG I.D!
Limang minuto bago ang simula ng aking unang klase. Mukhang di ako aabot, pero di ako pwedeng mahuli o lumiban. Tinakbo ko ang bahay at tila di na tumatapak ang mga paa ko sa lupa sa bilis ng aking pagusad. Narating ko ang gusali ng aking dormitoryo sa isang bahing lamang ni Zeus. Inakyat ko ang hagdan ng dalawang baitang isang hakbang upang mapabilis ang pag-akyat ko sa ikaapat na palapag kung saan naroroon ang aking silid.
May kaluskos sa loob ng aking silid.
Hindi ko muna binuksan ang pinto, pinakiramdaman ko muna ang tao sa loob na huminahon sa paggalaw upang mas mabilis kong makita kung ano ang pakay ng talipandas sa loob ng aking tahanan. Nanahimik na ang paligid. Unti-unti kong ipinasok ang susi sa pinto at dahan-dahan itong binuksan. Isang lalaki ang tila may hinahanap sa aking silid, ngunit isang bagay ang nakakuha ng buo kong atensyon. Nasa likurang bulsa niya ang nawawala kong pitaka. Di ko mamukhaan ang lalaki dahil sa bonet na nasa ulo niya. Di ako nakakilos agad, nakita na ako ng may dahilan ng lahat ng kamalasan ko. At papalapit na siya sa akin at may iba sa kanyang mga mata.
Naniningil ang ahente ni Kamatayan.
Masyadong mabilis ang kilos ng demonyo. Pinukpok niya ako’t napabulagta na lamang ako sa sahig. Sinasangga ng aking mga braso ang bawat pukpok at hampas ngunit di nagtagal ay nawalan na ako ng depensa. Binitiwan niya ang kahoy na ginawa niyang panghampas at unimpisahan akong sakalin sa leeg. Nauubusan na ako ng hininga kaya’t dinampot ko ang kahoy at ihinambalos sa ulo niya. Nawalan siya ng balanse at nabuwal sa gilid ng aking silid. Naubusan na ng pasensiya ang kriminal. Tumayo siya’t handa nang pumatay. Bumunot ng balisong mula sa kanyang tagiliran at hinubad ang bonet na nagtatago ng kanyang tunay na katauhan.
Si Manong Janitor ang mensahero ng demonyo.
Siya ang may kasalanan ng lahat. Siya ang nagnakaw ng pitaka ko. Siya ang dahilan ng paglalakad ko papuntang eskwelahan. Siya ang dahilan ng kamalasan ko sa buhay. Siya ang dahilan ng mga sugat ko ngayon. Siya na dahilan ng kalinisan ng aking silid ay maaaring maging dahilan ng aking katapusan.
Sinaksak ako ni Manong sa binti, di na ako makatayo at baldado na ako. Di na ako makalaban. Tinuloy tuloy niya ang pagbibigay ng madidiing taga sa aking buong katawan - sa braso, sa dibdib, sa tiyan, sa hita, sa leeg. Hindi niya ako tinigilan. Ang dating puti kong silid ay nabahiran ng pulang pula kong dugo. Pinagmamasdan ko na lamang siyang tapusin ang paghihirap ko. Buo pa ang aking kamalayan ngunit hapong hapo na aking katawan. Tinapos ni Manong Janitor ang paglilibang sa isang malakas na taga sa aking leeg, at tumalsik ang mga nalalabi kong dugo sa sugat na iyon.
Ginampanang muli ni Manong ang kanyang tungkulin, nilinis niya ang silid mula sa dugong nagkalat sa puti nitong sahig. At kasabay ng paglilinis niya sa aking kwarto ay ang paghuhugas niya ng kamay, pag-aalis ng lahat ng ebedensiyang maaaring maging instrumento laban sa kanya. Kinukuskos niya ang buong paligid at tinitiyak na hindi amoy dugo ang aking silid. Walang bakas ng dugo si Manong, magaling siya sa ginawa niyang pagpaslang sa akin. Mahihirapan ang pulisyang hanapin siya, kung sakaling gagawa man sila ng aksyon. Sa mga oras na ‘to, ang hinihiling ko na lamang ay ang presensya ng aking ina. Sana nandito siya. Hindi sana nangyari ang lahat ng ‘to. Nasa unibersidad pa sana ako’t nag-aaral sa una kong klase. Sana lagi lang siyang nasa tabi ko. Sana nandito si Nanay.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Mantsa
Automated Teller Machine
All things odd are expected to be witnessed in the city – the
most fascinating inventions, the most amazing works of all kind in all
fields. People are in a hurry, running after the sands of time that are
blown quickly; for TIME is MONEY. The smoke from vehicles, the stench of
streets and roads, and the drowning count of people walking and talking
everybody in chorus. All things are scarce, people are poor. They
consider every meal a gift, every coin a treasure. All they bare for
themselves is hope. Waking up every morning to stake their selves in
another battle of survival. Pushing the limits of the universe ahead of
them and put control over their destiny. Working hard, putting
matchsticks unto drooling eyelids to hold it from closing; forgetting
the meaning of rest and sleep for the sake of the sounds “cha-ching” in
their pockets. Going straight to their banks after receiving the pay
slip that they’ve been waiting for. Sliding the card in the machine,
key-in their PIN numbers, and withdraw the money just to be spent for
days. A month long hard work will be nothing but printed receipts –
bills, food, necessities. These were too large compared to the salary
people were having from their professions.
But what if the money doesn’t even reach their destination? If it was not able to make contact with the head of the family that was responsible for dividing the budget. Meet Lex, but only in his funeral. He used to be a loving, jolly, happy-go-lucky guy when he was alive, though he still has this certain shine in his face inside that graphite colored coffin. He was tall, fair-skinned, and brown-haired. His pinkish cheeks and lips had turned porcelain white. And you can notice creases on his forehead, an obvious sign of pain. Nothing much has changed in his features inside the coffin. The face was just the same as everybody else remembered him, but when you start to examine other parts of his body you’ll see the horror he’d been through. You’ll see several cuts from his neck, a deep gash in his arm, and as her mother told the story – a deeper one in his belly.
He was struck by a rusty knife right after having the money in his palm. Lex let go of the money immediately, valuing his life more than the money he’s possessing. But the agent of Abad don did not do the same, he wants to have the money and send his soul bargaining with the devil. Everything became a flashback of what he did before that turning point.
“Hello good evening how may I assist you?” Lex speaks in a courteous manner while turning thousands of pages of files only Lex could understand. Reading and writing at the same time, signing on papers and talking to the client.
“Yes Sir. Sorry for the inconvenience, Sir… I see, so you’re having difficulties regarding your new sim card? Are you subscribed in a plan Sir?” Clicked his mouse and navigated the page of his browser to a new protocol, trying to resolve the costumer’s problem.
“Sir, it’s indicated here that your server is down at this moment, Sir. Let me connect you to a costumer representative to help you further more.”
Yes. Lex is a call-center agent. A nocturnal animal. Sleeping when the sun is shining outside and is widely awake when the crickets make its noisy sounds. But he cannot answer a call anymore. No more complaints from bugging costumers. No more rush from the bosses. No more stress from an odd work. But no more life, no more Lex. No tear can put life in his aweful body anymore. But justice can set Lex in peace, as well as his family. But the police are not eager enough to solve a crime that was committed in public.
“The incident was very frequent, Madame. Your son should’ve been more careful.” The police officer barked at Helen, Lex’s Mum. The way the cop said that to Helen, is like a stab through her heart. She felt the pain Lex had felt, when she cannot have the justice she wanted for her son. They made it look like it’s Lex’s fault why he’s murdered and why he’s inside the coffin now, with the bright lights and the candles with the people mourning for him.
Helen held her composure. Stand from the couch she’s seated on and bid farewell. As she turned her back to the cop, tears immediately flow from her eyes and walk towards the door. Inside the house, nobody can talk to Helen. She’s beside her son, wiping the glass and talking to the frozen figure inside it. Arranging the flowers and the signage then turning back to her son and talk to the dead body again.
Sob. Flowers. Unearthed soil. The covered coffin atop the deep hole probably six feet under surface. People around the coffin. Holy water. A priest. Yes. The burial. It’s the end of the road. The dust will go back to where it came from. Everybody’s spirit is low. Still affected by the incident. Crucita, Lex’s sister opened the coffin for a last time to hug his corpse and bless his physique. But the coffin is empty. Commotion. Issues. Never-ending gossips. Lex is nowhere to be found. Where is he? He’s there the night before the interment. And everything is still a mystery. But Helen is nowhere to be found.
“I will protect you. Nobody will hurt you again. Mommy will heal all your bruises and wounds, honey. You’ll be fine. A magic kiss will make you feel new again. Smile now Lex. Do not be afraid. Mommy’s here baby.” You can hear it from a room on Lex’s residence. With a sobbing voice and an unclear throat, and a runny nose that keeps sneezing in. There is Helen,wiping Lex’s lifeless body. Combing his hair with her fingers and tracing the shapes of his eyes and lips. Kissing his forehead and hugging it tightly. Treating the cadaver like an infant that needs aids in all means. Yes. Helen completely lost her mind. She was completely eaten by the depression and the nightmares kept coming. She keeps on humming a song she used to sing when Lex was still a toddler. Arranging his bed every night and bringing in food every now and then. Changing his clothes often and read tales to her one and only. Going back to the days when he’s little precious gem has the enthusiasm of life. Swinging his son back and forth, as if Lex is asleep and she’s there to guide her son. And to make sure that no one will hurt him again. People could have ignored her son. But Helen made sure, that Lex felt comfort and love, or at least his body as a corpse.
But what if the money doesn’t even reach their destination? If it was not able to make contact with the head of the family that was responsible for dividing the budget. Meet Lex, but only in his funeral. He used to be a loving, jolly, happy-go-lucky guy when he was alive, though he still has this certain shine in his face inside that graphite colored coffin. He was tall, fair-skinned, and brown-haired. His pinkish cheeks and lips had turned porcelain white. And you can notice creases on his forehead, an obvious sign of pain. Nothing much has changed in his features inside the coffin. The face was just the same as everybody else remembered him, but when you start to examine other parts of his body you’ll see the horror he’d been through. You’ll see several cuts from his neck, a deep gash in his arm, and as her mother told the story – a deeper one in his belly.
He was struck by a rusty knife right after having the money in his palm. Lex let go of the money immediately, valuing his life more than the money he’s possessing. But the agent of Abad don did not do the same, he wants to have the money and send his soul bargaining with the devil. Everything became a flashback of what he did before that turning point.
“Hello good evening how may I assist you?” Lex speaks in a courteous manner while turning thousands of pages of files only Lex could understand. Reading and writing at the same time, signing on papers and talking to the client.
“Yes Sir. Sorry for the inconvenience, Sir… I see, so you’re having difficulties regarding your new sim card? Are you subscribed in a plan Sir?” Clicked his mouse and navigated the page of his browser to a new protocol, trying to resolve the costumer’s problem.
“Sir, it’s indicated here that your server is down at this moment, Sir. Let me connect you to a costumer representative to help you further more.”
Yes. Lex is a call-center agent. A nocturnal animal. Sleeping when the sun is shining outside and is widely awake when the crickets make its noisy sounds. But he cannot answer a call anymore. No more complaints from bugging costumers. No more rush from the bosses. No more stress from an odd work. But no more life, no more Lex. No tear can put life in his aweful body anymore. But justice can set Lex in peace, as well as his family. But the police are not eager enough to solve a crime that was committed in public.
“The incident was very frequent, Madame. Your son should’ve been more careful.” The police officer barked at Helen, Lex’s Mum. The way the cop said that to Helen, is like a stab through her heart. She felt the pain Lex had felt, when she cannot have the justice she wanted for her son. They made it look like it’s Lex’s fault why he’s murdered and why he’s inside the coffin now, with the bright lights and the candles with the people mourning for him.
Helen held her composure. Stand from the couch she’s seated on and bid farewell. As she turned her back to the cop, tears immediately flow from her eyes and walk towards the door. Inside the house, nobody can talk to Helen. She’s beside her son, wiping the glass and talking to the frozen figure inside it. Arranging the flowers and the signage then turning back to her son and talk to the dead body again.
Sob. Flowers. Unearthed soil. The covered coffin atop the deep hole probably six feet under surface. People around the coffin. Holy water. A priest. Yes. The burial. It’s the end of the road. The dust will go back to where it came from. Everybody’s spirit is low. Still affected by the incident. Crucita, Lex’s sister opened the coffin for a last time to hug his corpse and bless his physique. But the coffin is empty. Commotion. Issues. Never-ending gossips. Lex is nowhere to be found. Where is he? He’s there the night before the interment. And everything is still a mystery. But Helen is nowhere to be found.
“I will protect you. Nobody will hurt you again. Mommy will heal all your bruises and wounds, honey. You’ll be fine. A magic kiss will make you feel new again. Smile now Lex. Do not be afraid. Mommy’s here baby.” You can hear it from a room on Lex’s residence. With a sobbing voice and an unclear throat, and a runny nose that keeps sneezing in. There is Helen,wiping Lex’s lifeless body. Combing his hair with her fingers and tracing the shapes of his eyes and lips. Kissing his forehead and hugging it tightly. Treating the cadaver like an infant that needs aids in all means. Yes. Helen completely lost her mind. She was completely eaten by the depression and the nightmares kept coming. She keeps on humming a song she used to sing when Lex was still a toddler. Arranging his bed every night and bringing in food every now and then. Changing his clothes often and read tales to her one and only. Going back to the days when he’s little precious gem has the enthusiasm of life. Swinging his son back and forth, as if Lex is asleep and she’s there to guide her son. And to make sure that no one will hurt him again. People could have ignored her son. But Helen made sure, that Lex felt comfort and love, or at least his body as a corpse.
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